How To Build Trust and Confidence With a Fearful Dog

Adopting a dog is an incredible experience, but it can be challenging if you’re bringing home a fearful pup. If you’re wondering how to get a scared dog to trust you, you’re not alone. Many pet guardians face this obstacle. It’s important to understand that you’re not just a caretaker—you’re also a crucial part of their healing process.

The time it takes for a fearful dog to adjust varies widely. Kait Hembree (CVT, KPA CTP, VTS-Behavior), Head Trainer at GoodPup, notes that some dogs may take only days, while others need weeks or even months to come out of their shell. It is critical to let your new dog set the pace making patience essential in every case.

In this guide, we’ll share practical tips for building trust and confidence with your new dog. You’ll also hear from several fear-free experts about what to avoid and when it might be time to call in a pro.

Signs of Fear in Dogs

Dogs express fear in different ways, from subtle body language cues to more obvious behavioral signs. Recognizing these signs is the first step in offering support. Keep an eye out for:

Skittishness. Jumping at sudden movements or noises.
Withdrawn behavior. Hiding or isolating themselves from people and other pets.
Aversion to touch. Flinching or backing away when approached.
Reactivity. Barking, growling, or showing aggressive signals when feeling threatened.

You may also notice some subtle cues that can fly under the radar, including:

Causes of Fear in Dogs

Fearful behavior can stem from a variety of factors. Understanding the cause of your dog’s fear helps you tailor your approach to their particular needs. Here are common reasons for a new dog to be fearful, even of their owner.

Genetic predisposition. Some dogs may inherit traits that make them more prone to fearfulness. Certain breeds also tend to experience more anxiety and fear than others.
Past trauma. Experiences of abuse, neglect, or frightening events like a dog attack can leave lasting scars. This may result in fear even in safe environments.
Lack of socialization. Dogs who didn’t receive adequate socialization as puppies may become fearful around unfamiliar sights and sounds.
Pain or health issues. Undiagnosed medical conditions or injuries can contribute to fearfulness.
Life changes. New environments or routines can be overwhelming and stressful, sometimes triggering fearfulness in a sensitive dog.

Rule of 3s for Adopted Dogs

It’s important to set realistic expectations about your new dog’s adjustment process. The 3-3-3 rule offers a simple framework, outlining what you can generally expect in the first three days, weeks, and months. Keep in mind, however, this is just a rough guideline. Every dog is unique, and some may take longer to settle in, depending on their individual background and personality.

First three days

The initial days with your new dog are all about giving them space and time to decompress. At this stage, dogs may not reveal their true personality yet, says Brett Reynolds, a fear-free certified trainer (CPDT-KA) and director of dog care at The Dog Stop®. This is perfectly normal.

During this period, your dog may also appear shut down, scared, or simply sleep a lot. They might not eat much, and they may have potty accidentsdue to nerves and new routines.

Since dogs are likely feeling overwhelmed at this stage, it’s best to limit their exposure to new experiences and provide a quiet area for them to rest.

First three weeks

As your dog settles in, Reynolds says they may start feeling a bit safer and curious about their surroundings. Around the three-week mark, most dogs’ personalities will start to emerge. Reynolds adds that dogs may begin forming attachments and showing affection—or they might start showing signs of reactivity or fear.

You might also notice some barking, guarding behaviors, chewing, or even signs of separation anxiety as they begin to test boundaries.

This is usually a good time to introduce training—start with basic cues and establish a routine of daily walks and playtime.

First three months

By this point, your dog’s personality will be fairly clear, and they may begin to form a stronger bond with you and your family. While they are becoming more comfortable, Reynolds says to be aware that any triggers or past traumas might also start to surface now that they feel secure in their environment.

What Not To Do

Welcoming a scared dog into your home requires a thoughtful approach. Sometimes, even well-meaning behaviors on your part could unintentionally increase their stress.

To help your new dog adjust, here are some key things to avoid.

Don’t force your dog to face their fears

It’s important not to pressure your dog into facing things that scare them. This method, known as “flooding,” can actually make their fear worse instead of helping. “They need to feel safe and not put into scary situations,” LaSala confirms.

Don’t rush your dog’s progress

“Fearful dogs often come from traumatic or unstable backgrounds,” says Reynolds. “Healing takes time—sometimes months or longer.” Expecting instant bonding or obedience can lead to frustration for both you and your new companion.

Hembree agrees and advises pet parents to avoid asking too much of their new dog. In our excitement, it’s tempting to introduce our new pup to everyone we know. But in the beginning, it’s better to keep things simple. LaSala recommends keeping their world small for several days. Avoid overwhelming your dog with new experiences like doggy daycare, busy parks, or visitors right away.

Don’t punish fearful behavior

Scolding or punishing your dog will only reduce their trust in you. This defeats the goal of helping your dog feel safe. If your dog growls, for example, don’t yell or punish them. “This is the dog’s way of communicating that he’s uncomfortable about something,” LaSala explains.

Instead, focus on positive reinforcement. Use treats and gentle praise to encourage interactions and behaviors. Over time this can help build confidence and change frightening experiences to positive ones.

Don’t smother your dog

We know you just want to lay on the love, but it’s important to avoid crowding your dog with hugs or kisses, as this can be overwhelming for many dogs, especially ones that are more nervous or uneasy in general. Instead, make it a plan to give them space and let them come to you when they feel ready.

Don’t panic

Dogs are incredibly empathic creatures. If you’re stressed, your dog will likely pick up on that energy. Take a deep breath and project a sense of calmness. Dogs are also very resilient. With time and patience, you’ll be able to build a strong connection to each other.

Don’t compare your dog to other dogs

Every dog is unique. Reynolds emphasizes that pet parents should avoid comparing their dog to others or to their pre-adoption expectations. Embrace your dog’s individuality and respect their pace.

What To Do

Welcoming a scared dog into your home requires patience and understanding. Here are some key ways to help your dog feel safe and comfortable in their new environment.

Let your dog set the pace

It’s important to let your dog take the lead when it comes to new experiences. “Rushing interactions, socialization, or training can backfire,” Reynolds explains. Instead, let your dog approach you on their own terms.

“If they want to interact with you, it will be obvious,” says LaSala. If your dog curls up close or rubs against you for scratches, it means they want your attention. If your dog moves away, they’re signaling a need for space. Respect their wishes and let them be.

Create a safe space

As they acclimate to their new home, it helps to give dogs a place to retreatwhen they feel nervous. Reynolds suggests providing your dog with a designated safe space, whether it be a crate, a corner, or a quiet room. You might want to use a dog gate or other barrier to maintain this quiet zone.

This space should be equipped with everything they need: food, water, cozy bedding, and toys. Safe spaces are best established in private areas of the home with low traffic and should be available to your dog at all times.

Build a schedule

Like most humans, dogs feel more secure when they know what to expect. Reynolds recommends establishing a predictable routine, keeping the same feeding and walking times.

Consistency with all family members is key here. “Make sure everyone in the family is following the same guidelines, interactions, rules, and patterns,” advises Hembree.

Use a calm voice and body language

A soothing environment goes a long way in alleviating fear. Keep your tone calm. Play soft background music. Work to try to avoid sudden movements or responses that could be scary.

Toss treats

According to Reynolds, scattering treats and even feedings can redirect nervous energy. Rather than offering food directly from your hand (which some dogs might find too scary), he suggests tossing treats nearby in the grass or on a snuffle mat.

You may need to even walk away from the area of the treat scatter. This will give your dog plenty of space and help them feel more comfortable to explore and investigate. Over time your dog will become more adjusted to your presence and you’ll be able to move closer.

Try hand-feeding

Once you have a little trust established, Reynolds explains that hand-feeding can be added as a powerful tool to build on that trust, especially for shy or fearful dogs.

For this to be effective, Hembree says to figure out what your dog likes best. Most dogs will be motivated by high-value treats that are smelly, squishy, and extra savory. Pieces of chicken, cheese, or hot dogs are good options.

Start gentle play, training, and games

Training and playtime not only reduce stress but also build a connection between you and your dog. Playing with your new friend is one of the best ways to help them feel at home, and it promotes confidence and trust.

Start small with slow movements or easy cues, and avoid items that are loud. As you and your dog begin to get to know each other, you can add more and more types of interactions.

Slowly work on desensitization & counterconditioning

Create a checklist of what scares your dog and gradually expose them to triggers alongside positive reinforcement. This process can be tricky, so don’t hesitate to consult a professional trainer if you’re stuck.

Consider calming aids

If your dog continues to struggle, calming aids may be able to help. Reynolds recommends products like pheromone diffusers, anxiety wraps like the Thundershirt, and calming chews. These can provide extra support while your dog adapts to their new environment.

Where To Get Help

Fear is a complex and nuanced behavior. It can have lots of ups and downs. If you’re struggling, remember you’re not alone. There is professional help available.

From a trainer

When seeking help, look for credentialed professionals with expertise in managing and modifying fear-based behaviors. Hembree also encourages owners to ask about a professional’s training methods, opting for those who use force-free, reward-based methods.

A qualified trainer will work with you to create a personalized training plan and show you how to help your dog build confidence through positive experiences. They can also help you correctly implement desensitization and counterconditioning techniques.

From a vet

If your dog’s fear is severe, you should reach out to a fear-free certified veterinarian or a veterinary behaviorist. These professionals are specially trained to help frightened dogs feel safe. They can determine whether medication is appropriate in conjunction with behavior modification and suggest management techniques.

While adopting a fearful dog can be daunting, it’s reassuring to know that their discomfort doesn’t have to be a permanent state. With dedication, patience, and the right support, your dog can learn a better way to address their fears and may even overcome them, leading to a happy, fulfilling life.